I’ve had some weird and wonderful dates in my adult life. I’ve been taken to Nando’s and to McDonald’s. I got taken shopping. I got taken to their flats. I would wait for them until they went off to work. I hated them with a passion. I like just sitting down and just chatting. So, I thought why not make a list about the top ten things. What I think should be done and what shouldn’t be done on a first date. Whether you are a bloke or a woman.
So here goes!
Top 10 things that you shouldn’t do on a first date-
- Don’t talk about your ex partners. Just a simple no, if they do talk about their ex’s on the date whether it’s bad or good. Chances are they still love them, and I wouldn’t put yourself in that situation as you would get hurt if the person dumped you for their ex partners. Just a no. I’ve been there and wore the tee shirt!
- Do not talk about money. It’s not sexy or amazing. It’s kind of trashy and bragging if I’m totally honest. The person would be interested in you not your bank balance.
- Asking if the person wants children or not, I find this too personal on a first date. I hate answering this question when I get asked this. Of course, I want children in my future, but I want to start my career first and find a decent man.
- Do not interview the person you are on a date with. Interviews are for job interviews not dates. Plus, I think it’s fun to leave a bit of secretly so you can have another date and it wouldn’t be boring and quiet as you asked all the questions on the first date rather than waiting till the 2nd
- Don’t have a full blown debate. Leave the debates until you fully know the person as you could offend them, and they will now probably think you are a bit of a twat and won’t bother with you again.
- Don’t ask how the date is going 24/7. Just don’t. Just be yourself and enjoy the date. As you might annoy the person or might come off to clingy. That isn’t the thing you want to be doing on a first date.
- Don’t ask or expect sex on the first date. Some people have sex on the first date and some people don’t it’s up to them in the end. But do not ask for sex as you don’t want to be giving the sex pest feeling off.
- Do not talk about marriage. Listen up ladies and gentlemen. You wouldn’t discuss marriage if you were at a job interview so why discuss it on a first date is beyond me. Just please don’t. It saves the nervous tension while waiting for an answer.
- Don’t turn up 10 or even a minute late. Do not go on your phone either. It just isn’t nice for the person who you are going on a date with as they are probably feeling nervous and they will feel like you couldn’t be bothered. That won’t end well. If you had a genuine reason, then fine but if you couldn’t be bothered to get out the house 5 minutes earlier than I don’t think the date would be for you.
- Don’t social media stalk the night before the date. As you will bound to find something horrible and it will affect your date. You both are single, so you are entitled to a life. I will put up my hands, I have done this before and it didn’t end well. Wait a bit, the person should be honest and tell you straight up if they aren’t over their previous partners etc.
Top 10 things you should do on a date-
- Be yourself and be honest. Obviously don’t try fool the person as they will find out the real you later and if they can’t handle the real you then they aren’t worth it.
- Talk about your hobbies and what you like to do in your spare time.
- Compliment them when you first see them and maybe when you finish your date. But don’t keep saying wow you look so good every 5 minutes as that will be creepy as anything.
- Be kind and respectful.
- Be on time. That will give the right impression to the person that you are reliable.
- Talk but also listen at the same ratio as each other. Let the person talk while you listen but also get into conversation as you don’t want awkward silences on your date. Trust me that isn’t the thing you want.
- At the end of the date, don’t rush things but ask how you think it went and would they be interested in a second date with you.
- If it’s a food date like most dates. Just eat. I can promise you they won’t judge you on how you eat. They probably are hungry and want food.
- At the end, if you both don’t think the date went well and you don’t see potential just say. It’s better to be let down gentle than going home and blocking the person. As that’s a pretty shit thing to do.
- Show your personality off but be sensible at the same time.
Those are some of the things I’ve learnt in my dating life and some things I wish didn’t happen, but it did, and I learned the hard way. I could write so much about first dates, but it would be very long!
Enjoy your first date and be safe!
Lots of love,
Shannon Diana x