I hope you all remember me, I had to take a few weeks off blogging as my mental health was deteriorating plus I just wasn’t in the right place to be writing about mental health when I wasn’t doing good. On a positive note I’m feeling better and I’m beating my anxiety one step at a time.
Toxic friendships and relationships where do I begin with this?
I won’t name or shame people as I don’t do that sort of thing.
I do need to admit this toxic friendship and relationship what I had added the strain to my mental illness. I’m not blaming but I think if I didn’t have arguments what happened I would not have trust issues and the confidence issues like I do have today.
I need to add that, you are good enough for anyone. Don’t ever think you aren’t good enough because I felt like I wasn’t good enough and it messed me up so much and to be honest now thinking about it all, I was good enough for those people. It just wasn’t meant to be.
So, let’s start on the toxic friendship. It all started in secondary school really, I guess but it all came to light when I was 17/18. Teenagers with hormones! Like oh my! But I wasn’t very bad with my hormones luckily enough. I hated school with a passion. Literally, the teachers just weren’t very supportive like they are today. Damn I feel old. But fast forward when I was 17. The times where I first didn’t feel happy like I did before and when I was experiencing the symptoms of depression and anxiety. I had this one friend who I classed as my best mate and my “sister”. I was so close, and I truly thought she was there for me, but I guess now looking back from this point of view it was just being fake and she couldn’t be bothered with me as I had an illness. She didn’t want to know me when I was needing her the most. The time when I needed her to tell me everything was going to be okay. She just upped and left me for her new best friend. Who hates me every time I try to make the friendship again. Yeah, I missed her a lot, but I don’t need the negatively. Plus, I don’t need the jealously she had every time I spoke to someone new.
On a brighter note, I’ve made a best friend. Who is amazing. She doesn’t call me stupid or a fool. She doesn’t seem bored when I take her to Superdrug and when I want to do something what I like. She knows when I’m having a bad day. She puts up with my loudness and giggling in Ikea! I’m glad I have met her as this feels like a proper friendship. Love you Hayley! She’s the best! Plus, she’s gave me the motivation to come back to blogging and finally starting a YouTube channel.
On that note, let’s talk about toxic relationships. Where do I begin with this subject? I’ve only had one toxic one when I was 18. He was 24. He treated me like crap and I just let it happen to me as I didn’t feel like I was good enough for anyone and I liked him. He used to say some right horrible stuff just because I didn’t do the stuff he wanted to do. He made me feel so small and eventually played me like a game.
I just want to add if you are going through a toxic relationship, please end it. It’s not worth it. If they can’t treat you right, get someone who can. As no one should ever feel worthless or not wanted.
You are wanted, and you are needed. You are loved.
I’m single and I’m staying single until I find someone who will treat me right as in this generation relationships and dating is hard. Plus, I just want to work on myself now as the whole dating scene is bloody hard nowadays because social media and that!
I will be back to blogging. I want to ease myself back into as I don’t want to pile everything on and give my mental health more strain.
I hope you are all okay and I hope you do love my posts.