I recently shared my 7 things what happened to me since my diagnosis of a mental illness. I loved writing that, so I thought why not do another but concentrate on one subject then I can create more of these! I wish when I was first diagnosis with depression I looked at one of these as I think that it would help some people to understand what not to say to someone you know who’s battling depression.
1- Oh we all get bad days don’t be so dramatic. That must be the worst thing I got told by someone I was close too. I used to think that I was a failure to my parents when I got told that, but I wasn’t as it wasn’t my fault that I’m ill. They will need your support to battle it. Trust me. The cruel to be kind trick doesn’t work. It just makes it worse. Have a conversation with that person and ask why they feel that way. Make sure they know that they have your support.
2- You don’t even look depressed. Another one what made my journey worse. As the old saying goes. “Don’t judge a book by its cover” I might look happy and I might look like everything is fine, but you aren’t inside my head you don’t have no idea what I face at night with the intrusive thoughts. Never judge someone by their looks at all as you have no idea what that person is going through.
3- You must be on cloud 9 then if you are popping anti-depressants every day. I hate that sentence with a passion. Don’t be stupid. If you are taking any medication for depression you do not go on cloud 9 and you don’t see no fluffy cute bunnies. Just because I take a tablet for my depression, it doesn’t mean it gets rid of my depression. Sometimes it calms down my intrusive thoughts at 3am but I still must work with my depression myself. It’s like team work.
4- Just calm down, it could be worse. Please don’t ever tell someone to calm down if they are dealing with depression because chances are that they will get very annoyed at you because calming down doesn’t work. Yes, it could be worse for them but don’t tell them that as you have no idea what they are going through in their head. It’s like a personal nightmare.
5- Have you tried going out and having a laugh. If getting rid of depression was that easy I would have done that. Trust me, I wish I could just go out and it will disappear. This puts added pressure on the person and it will make the journey more worse. Laughing does help but it isn’t a cure.
Yes, depression and anxiety are in my life right now. But it isn’t me. I’m still me. You just can’t take pills and you are suddenly fine again that doesn’t work. It takes time and support and love from friends and family.
Love, Shannon x