As you know, I love my blog and I love writing. I found my hidden talent. When I feel down, I start writing.
I love helping people and helping myself.
I’ve had a long ass battle with low self-esteem. I’ve been battling it since I was 11 I think. I have days like today where I hate myself, so I keep my hoodie up in my living room and with my headphones in to block out the thoughts.
Then I have days where I love my body and I’m a confident bitch. Like this post I did when I was having such a good week of being body confident.
I used to love going to the Gym before my relapse. I loved it. It was helping my confidence and my anxiety, and it was helping my body. Then my demons came to play, and I just didn’t go anymore as I was getting lower with myself and I just would rather drink booze and not eat. But that was my illnesses trying to take control over me. I can’t just wake up and plan a million things in my head. I wish I could, I spend about 30 minutes analysing the situations what I might get into and sometimes it’s like battling with a storm it’s never ending and so exhausting.
Time to kick Depression & Social Phobia asses!
I’ve decided I’m going to join the gym again what’s right down the road from my house so it’s easy for me when I’m having bad days and I feel like I can’t do it. But deep down in my heart, I know I can do it.
My eating habits aren’t that clever. Sometimes my head tells me if I eat I’ll gain five stone in just one mouthful and no one will ever want to touch me. Then I have days, Where I can eat meals and not have a care in the world.
But I am going to try and make a meal plan. I am also going to do a food diary as well, so I can document what I eat and see what my days are like. Also, when I’m having a bad day, I can look at the good days and remind myself that I can do this.
I am also going to document the gym days.
This is my workout plan:
Monday – Cardio & Chest Day
Tuesday- Rest Day
Wednesday- Bum & Legs Day
Thursday- Full Body Day
Friday- Shoulders & Arm Day
Saturday- Cardio & Bum Day
Sunday- Rest Day
I’m purchasing my gym wear and some notebooks to write down in. I will do a blog post about what I wear to the gym also. I am motivated right now but I know I will have some days where my head will be like hell nah sister. But I know some techniques and I’d love to blog what it’s like exercising with an invisible illness.
Please keep your eyes peeled for new fitness posts for my new section of my blog!
Love Shannon x
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