When is it my time to be good enough?

This post is very deep in my feels now.

But it’s true, I just want to feel loved for once without silly mind games and playing with my head. I can’t take any more. I battle my head and thoughts 24/7 so I don’t fancy battling with my feelings as well. I hate mind games. I want to feel good enough for once you know. I don’t want to feel like a burden to myself sometimes and I defiantly don’t want to be used for my body.

It’s like my body is good enough for sex but I’m not good enough as a person and that brings me down a bit you know.

Then I get told I’m perfect and so amazing.

Therefore, I rarely have emotion because I know, I will be hurt before it even started.

Sometimes I feel nothing but then other times I feel so much.

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I know I haven’t got the perfect figure or smile but I’m me. 

Right now,

I’m not feeling 100%. I feel mentally exhausted now. I’ve been thinking about this “When will I feel good enough” Nonstop. I know it’s not good for me but right now my head is in the black cloud and I can’t stop thinking of different scenarios what won’t ever happen, but my head thinks different. 

Sometimes, I just want to be told this. 

“Shannon, you are enough. Don’t you dare give up. But it feels like right now, I’m lonely and no one bothers with me. It’s being anxious having friends but wanting friends, but my head just doesn’t want to cooperate with my body or even my feelings.  I hate feeling this lonely as it makes my dark thoughts easy to get inside my head as quick as anything.”

Sometimes it’s hard to believe my head when I’m having bad days.

Till next time. 

Love, Shannon x 

3 thoughts on “When is it my time to be good enough?

  1. CherishingFLo says:

    I’m sorry you’re feeling so down! It especially saddens me because of how beautiful you are both in and out! I am not necessarily good with words, but I hope you feel better soon. People suck, for lack of better words. You could be the best person on the planet and they still not do right by you, but that’s not because YOU aren’t good enough it’s because 98% of the world sucks and is selfish and doesn’t care about the people around them. But that is not your fault and really has nothing to do with you. One day you’ll find somebody who recognizes the good AND acts accordingly. Sending positive vibes your way love!

    Like

  2. bravingmentalillness says:

    Thanks for sharing and I hope you feel better soon. The good news is most people have bad days like this, but your level of awareness is one step ahead of the healing journey. Self-love and acceptance are some of the keys to happiness. Be well beautiful 😊

    Like

  3. Demi Enchanted says:

    Hi Shannon, This post was touching and I am so sad that you feel like this. Never let anyone make you feel like you are not good enough. Soon you will find someone who will make you feel amazing xx

    Liked by 1 person

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