Hello, I’m Shannon Diana, I’m 20 years old and I live in Aldridge. I’m your “Average” teen. I have a bubbly personality and I love to have a laugh. I sing in the shower and dance around the house. I eat cold left-over pizza for breakfast sometimes as I just can’t be arsed to make breakfast. I fangirl over Kit Harrington nearly every single day. I binge on game of thrones episodes sometimes. I love my tattoos and piercings. I have 7 tattoos and I did have loads of piercings, but my body rejected them. I live with my big brother and my grandmother, I have been living with them since I was nine when my mum passed away. I have a passion for makeup and I love anything to do with makeup and beauty products and I love a snapchat filter! I love rap music and I use to be a huge fan of one direction and JLS when I was 14. I like to think I’m some sort of model with my poses.
I’ve been battling with two invisible illnesses since I was 14 what is physically and mentally exhausting sometimes but other times it has taught me a few things about life and changed the person I am today.
I’m not looking for sympathy no way. In life, you get thrown obstacles and I will jump over every single one day by day.
I’m not perfect. I’m not inspiration. I’m not amazing. I’m just me and these illnesses don’t define the person I am today. I define me. I’m the one who’s breathing to keep me alive my illnesses aren’t breathing or controlling for me.
I’m in control. I’m not mad or crazy just because I take medication to help with my mental health. I just need help sometimes and that’s okay to have help.
I battle mental illness every single day of my life. You don’t see how these illnesses get in the way of my daily living as they are invisible, but they are still illnesses and don’t ever belittle me just because my illnesses don’t show any broken bones.
I’m still human believe it or not. I still smile. I still pull funny facial expressions because that’s my number one talent and everyone loves when Shannon brings out a funny facial expression!
Sometimes these illnesses are cruel and heartbreaking for family and friends to watch me when I’m having a depressive episode and decline in my mental health.
Then other times I can be strong and know when I’ve done enough, and I take some time to rest and gather my thoughts and I tell myself that the dark times will past, and I will see my rainbow one day.
I used to beat myself up about some of my flaws and imperfections, but I’ve realised in life, everyone is beautiful.
My past hasn’t been amazing but it’s my journey and I will be strong enough one day and I will be telling my story to thousands.
I used to think It wasn’t okay not to be okay and you must be in the best mood 24/7 as people won’t accept you into society.
What a load of crap that was.
It’s okay not to be okay and you don’t have to be in the best mood. Just be you and If no one can respect that then they aren’t worth the fight.
My flaws include:
- Being so Indecisive.
- Not telling people how I feel.
- Being emotionally unavailable.
- Losing my body confidence so easy sometimes.
- Crap at replying.
- Self Doubting.
- I can’t trust easily.
But my strengths are:
- Bubbly personality.
- Writing skills.
- Amazing at singing… I wish 😉
- I’m a great driver.
- My funny facial expressions.
- I’m good at cleaning.
- My witty comebacks.
- Great at cuddling.
I used to battle my body 24/7 but now I’ve learnt, I’m me so tough if you don’t like me tough luck because I’m not going to change. I love my body as it’s been on my journey since day one. Everyone needs self love and I’m in that self love club.
I blog to show how I’m feeling and to show that It’s okay to have setbacks and it’s okay not to be okay. Some days I can be typing away for ages then others I can be looking at the screen and I can’t even string up a sentence as my head is battling with my thoughts and I just don’t have energy.
I blog to break stigma down. I was judged, and I know how horrible that feels to be one crying at 2am into your pillow because someone has told you to snap out of it and it’s not even a “real” illness.
I blog because I love blogging. Blogging has become my freedom and my getaway from when life is tough. I blog because I love helping people and If this blog helps anyone. It will help me a lot.
I blog because I want to show people that it’s a real illness and how much it can affect your daily life and not to judge someone as you have no idea what’s happening to them.
I battle depression and social phobia disorder.
It’s not sadness and crying. It’s 1000 thoughts inside your head being told you aren’t good enough to be breathing. It’s the non-pleasure you get for doing the things what you use to love.
It’s not just being nervous. It’s the fear that you are going to get hurt if you speak to someone. It’s the looking back every 5 minutes.
I define me. No one else does. I will beat this, maybe not today but I will beat it and I will speak up for the people has lost the fight to mental illness and the people who are fighting daily.
Till next time.
Love, Shannon Diana xo
If you would like to contact me for PR or any collaborations/writing opportunities or even support if you are going through a bad time. Please email me.
Thank You x