I hate you mental illness.

I hate you mental Illness. I really do. I just want to be the happy person I was without feeling ill physically and mentally.  

I have no purpose in life anymore. I haven’t got the joyful feeling of waking up. It’s just insomnia until 5am every morning then waking up at 7am. I just want to feel happy you know? Just happy for once without the paranoid feeling that’s it going to shatter within seconds because I’ve just had enough of being on edge. 

I’ve lost my passion for makeup and blogging. 

You took me and I can’t do anything to save myself. You took my confidence. You took my motivation. You took my personality. You took me. Just when I was feeling happy and feeling  

I love this blog with my heart and it’s utter heartbreaking that right now, I can’t even concentrate to type up a single post without my mind going on some sort of purge or a rollercoaster. The heartbreaking point is that I use to do daily post and upload videos then it all crashed down. 

It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I can’t fight anymore. I feel trapped inside my own mind and I just want to escape. I can’t even ring a crisis line anymore as I don’t know whether I am discharged or not, as no one is bothering telling me anything.. I just want help. I can’t cope anymore being lonely and feeling like a failure every single day.

I just want a break from life. 

I don’t want sympathy, I want to raise awareness for mental illnesses. The good, the bad and the damn right ugly! 

Love, from Shannon Diana x

3 thoughts on “I hate you mental illness.

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