Lifestyle · Mental Health · PTSD(Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

10 Things you shouldn’t and should say to someone with Social Anxiety Disorder! (Social Phobia)

Hey all, Shan is back again! (I’m on a roll)

Hopefully this will be out and published on here on Monday 30th July at 9am! Fingers crossed.

I want to talk about things you shouldn’t and should say to someone who is battling with Social Anxiety Disorder! (Social Phobia)

I’ve been battling with Social Anxiety Disorder since I was 11 but I finally got diagnosed at 19 years old in March 2017 so I’ve been told numerous things what are classed as stigma so I wanted to share some things with you guys.

Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is a long-lasting and overwhelming fear of social situations.

When I’m having bad days with my Social Phobia, I’d much rather run a marathon than actually answer a phone call or even go to the shops for a loaf of bread.

For a sufferer of Social anxiety disorder. I personally would love support and appreciation. But in reality people who suffer with social anxiety disorder are called “not sociable or shy or not bothering with friendships”, the best thing is I’d love to be social but my head is forever telling me that I’m going to get hurt or I’ll embarrass myself.

So here goes…

Things you shouldn’t say to someone with Social Anxiety

  1. Why don’t you just try to go out.. (We are begging to go out in our bodies, but our minds are telling us 1000 things at once. Don’t try make us feel like we don’t try)
  2. I bet you’ll be cured if you talked more to people and have more social interaction.. (I’d love to just be cured if I only talked to someone.. if it was that easy aye)
  3. Just pull yourself together.. (I’m not a pair of curtains pal.. I’m a human being)
  4. Just have some alcohol it will make you more sociable… (Funny enough alcohol makes the situation ten times worse.. it makes our thoughts more intense..)
  5. Why can’t you just come out with us, like a normal friend.. You never see us anymore.. (Pal.. I wish I could just simply step out the door and have fun with you but in reality it takes me 2 hours to even get out on the door on good days..)
  6. Talk to a stranger then you’ll be okay! (Do you have any idea how stressful that idea is by thinking about it let alone living that situation..)
  7. You’re only young. You’re meant to be out all the time. (Thank you for reminding me of my age but it’s not my fault, I don’t need to be reminded I can’t live the “typical” 20-year-old life, what I’d love to do..)
  8. It’s them pills you take.. They affect your head don’t they.. that’s why you can’t answer phones.. (Dude.. That is the reason why I take my anti depressant is to help get me out the house and do “simple” things what people take for granted.. Stop pill shaming as well, they are practically saving my life)
  9. It’s too much social media what’s causing you to be nervous while you are in social interaction.. (Social Media can be bad at times.. but at other times it can be amazing. You can so much support of someone who lives 1000 miles away. When you’re having a shitty mental health day. Those messages are the best..)
  10. You’re too nervous. (Why thank you for noticing that.. that’s a symptom of social anxiety. No wonder why I’m nervous when I get judgmental comments telling me to just go out..)

Things you should say to someone with Social Anxiety.

  1. I’ll always be here for you, when you are in need of support when you are going out. (We need this support)
  2. You can do this, I believe in you. (YASSS! Positive support messages are the one!)
  3. Don’t worry if you can’t go out today, tomorrow is always a new day. (When I’m feeling bad if I stay in, I always think tomorrow is a new day to smash some boundaries. Rome wasn’t built-in a day)
  4. Do you fancy going for a five minute walk. (That’s the best thing you could ask someone so they know you are supporting them and that they know that you want to help them battle this demon)
  5. Let’s do this together. (YASS! Team work is the dream work. Working through the bad time makes you stronger and the person who’s helped you more knowledgeable on how you are coping with social anxiety)
  6. Are you ok? (Seriously, this is the most important question on earth. It can save lives with that sentence..)
  7. You’re not bothering us at all. (This is what I wanted to hear, I felt like a hurdle for my family as they wanted me to come out and I just wasn’t comfortable..)
  8. Don’t listen to any negativity, take your time. Recovery isn’t just a straight line. (There will be bad days but also good days. There will be days where you can’t even get out of bed and days where you can sing on your sofa. Recovery isn’t easy. I still have days where I can’t lift my head from my pillow as I’m that tired even if I’ve had 9 hours sleep..)
  9. I know you are feeling low right now, but just so you know, I’m bloody proud of you conquering your fear. (We just want to know we are making you proud with our daily achievements..)
  10. I love you. (All we want is support and love, it makes us feel more better if you tell us you love us while we are facing the demons)

Do you have any more? Please comment below xx

You are loved. You are worth the fight. You are more than your illnesses, you can fight this I believe in you. You are flawless. You are fabulous. You are amazing. Most importantly you are YOU. That’s pretty damn special.

Love from Shannon Diana xx

If you would like to contact me for PR or any collaborations or even support if you are going through a bad time. Please follow my social media accounts and email me.

Instagram- @Shannondianaxx  

Twitter- @SDianaax 


11 thoughts on “10 Things you shouldn’t and should say to someone with Social Anxiety Disorder! (Social Phobia)

  1. The things people say are so ridiculous. I don’t know if the ignorant people are worse or the people who romanticise anxiety as a “cute aestethic”, if they think anxiety is that great they can have mine because I don’t want it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. anxiety is really hard for people to understand. for me, meditation and exercise have really helped me. Also reading the book, the subtle art of not giving a fuck really opened up my eyes to stop carrying so much about what other people want you to do and do what you yourself know to be right for yourself. a great read, highly recommend!


  3. I completely relate to this I have generalized anxiety disorder.. I was told I had social anxiety disorder and i was medicated for that but that’s a wholllle other issue lol but this resonated with me I’m 33 and suffered my whole life and this year was the first year I was able to verbally let others know I have Anxiety I’m not anti-social or weird or a bitch I’m just overwhelmed and my thoughts can catch up with my words so I look like I’m giving you attitude but I’m notttt.. ugh yeah it’s been rough. I’m so thankful you wrote this post. I’m following your blog now and I can’t wait to read more.


  4. This is such a great, informative post! I feel like too often we fall into the trap of applying our own way of thinking to someone else, failing to see the differences that may drive their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Pulling back the curtain and allowing a glimpse into the life of someone that is dealing with social anxiety disorder helps to tear down these walls
    Britt |


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