Cut the long story short it took me 11 years to get medication, but you can see my long post here: My Mental Health Story.
I was passed to pillow and post basically. Doctors then CAMHS then Doctors then CAMHS again when they decided to say it was just “teenage hormones”, but anyway finally when I was 19 in March 2017. I was put on my first set of antidepressants.
Having a mental illness is cruel and exhausting mentally and physically. The stigma doesn’t help. The stigma what is attached to mental illnesses is cruel and exhausting. But if you tell someone you take medication for a mental illness this is a whole new stigma issue.
I want everyone to know that it’s okay to take medication for any illness whether it’s physical or physiological. It’s okay to take something what will relief the symptoms of the illnesses.
I can now say looking back a year or so later. Medication has saved my life. So I wanted to tell you my medication story. It’s nothing to be ashamed off trust me. You need to get better and that’s the part of recovery sometimes.
March 2017, I was prescribed about 20mg on Citalopram. I think all the doctors give that to people to start them off, then it was upped to 30mg and so on until the maximum dosage of 40mg.
Citalopram takes about 4 weeks to settle in well it did for me. At first, I was feeling a bit better, the side effects creeped in and made my depression and anxiety ten times worse but medication has different effects on everybody brains and bodies. It didn’t work for me.
Some of the side effects I had while I was on Citalopram were:
- Dry Mouth.
- Electric Shocks in my left side.
- Feeling tired.
- Higher sexual appetite.
- Feeling more emotionally numb.
- Memory isn’t as good as it was.
After withdrawing from Citalopram, I was prescribed an antidepressant called Fluoxetine at 20mg then it was upped to 40mg then to the highest dosage of 60mg I think, It took 4 weeks to settle in my brain. It made so much difference to my social anxiety but it didn’t work for my depression as my depressive thoughts were 20x stronger.
Some side effects I had while I was on fluoxetine were:
- Feeling nausea after eating every single meal. It was a bane of my life seriously.
- More memory loss.
I’m currently on Paraoxetine. I have no idea how I feel about this one though. Like I don’t notice any changes to my moods. So I will update this post when I feel like I have an opinion on it. But this one is the worse for side effects I think. I’m on 40mg dosage.
The side effects what I currently still have are:
- Heart Burn after taking it. Yes, I’ve eaten before.
- Sleepless nights.
- Memory isn’t that good if I’m honest.
Medication isn’t bad. Medication has gave me a little bit of energy I didn’t use to have when I wasn’t on any treatment. Hopefully in the future, we will find a suitable medication and I’ve gotta sort out all medication about the other mental illnesses but that will take time and it’s sad to say but I’m use to waiting now.
Love, Shannon Diana xx
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