Abuse in relationships.

Trigger Warning- This post contents some words what may trigger or upset someone. I want to talk about it because it needs to be talked about. There needs to be more awareness to this subject. 

What is abuse?  

It is a violation of someones human and civil rights and in the worse cases of abuse it could result in death if it’s not spotted at the start of any abuse. That’s why we need to talk and actually listen to someone who have bravely spoken about any sort of abuse in their life.

Abuse in relationships could happen in many ways such as:

Psychological – Emotional abuse, humiliation, blaming, intimidation. 

Domestic – Physical abuse, Financial abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse. 

Sexual –Rape, Indecent exposure, sexual harassment, inappropriate touching, sexual photography, sexual teasing, subjection to pornography. 

Physical – Misuses of medications, assault, hitting, pushing, restraining. 

Modern slavery –Human trafficking 

Financial –Controlling your money

It’s not just females who will be involved in an abusive relationship. Men can be in an abusive relationship as well. 

What is the definition of an abusive relationship? 

A pattern of abusive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current partner. 

What are the signs that someone is in an abusive relationship/ Or if you are in an abusive relationship? 

  • Constant jealously when there’s no need to be jealous. 
  • They constantly check up on you when you go to the shop for a loaf. Or when you go to see your family. 
  • They put you down constantly either in public or in your home. 
  • They are very controlling and they get angry if you forget a simple task. 
  • They constantly blame you for everything. They blame you for the things you cannot control or their past experiences. 
  • They constantly moan that you are friends with their friends and you shouldn’t be. 
  • They threaten to use violence against you or your friends. 
  • They make you do things you don’t want to do. Such as having sex. 
  • They are allowed to have how many people but if you have any friends they yell at you. 
  • They control your money.
  • They manipulate you. 
  • They are hot and cold as in your partner is loving and kind then they are distant and unavailable.
  • They hit you or they force you to have sex with you when you don’t want sex with them. 

If someone comes to you in private and tells you that they are a victim of abuse in their relationship. Please listen. Please don’t be judgemental. Please do not tell their partner as that could make the situation ten times worse. 

If you are a victim of abuse. Please speak before it’s too late. 

I’ll let you into this: 

I finally got the courage last week and left my emotionally abusive ex “boyfriend”of a year and a half. He didn’t physically harm me. But mentally he destroyed me. I still have feelings for him but I was fed up of being the verbal punch bag that he used when something was wrong with his life. He use to make me feel so small but when he wanted something he was so loving. I guess that’s why I stayed for as long as I did. He pushed me away so many times but somehow he made my mind feel like I needed him to survive and I couldn’t function without him. It was a toxic abusive relationship. I wasn’t an angel, I shouted back but no one deserves to feel like a piece of dirt. He’s blocked on everything and it’s time to move on slowly. 

My aim is to help people not just help myself. My aim is to help people talk and help me in the future to talk about what has happened and get the help they need and I need.

If you are experiencing any type of abuse or you are a survivor of abuse. Please talk, I believe you. I won’t give up fighting for justice for you. 

If anyone needs any support, please email me and I will pass on the correct support line numbers.

I’m not a trained professional or a councillor but I can listen and listening is the most important skill and that can help people by listening and being non-judgemental towards them. 

I believe you. I have love for you. If I could I would hug you and let you get all the emotion out. Here’s a virtual hug and I’m always here. 

Just so you know, it’s okay not to be okay you know, even the happiest person in the universe has their bad days. You can get through this dark hole. I believe in you. 

You are loved. You are worth the fight. You are more than your illnesses, you can fight this I believe in you. You are flawless. You are fabulous. You aren’t alone. You are amazing and I’m proud of you all. 

You can beat these thoughts. I believe in you. I will always be there for you even if it’s on the internet or email or even in person one day.  You are loved. You are needed in this world because you are YOU. You are bad ass for battling mental illness daily. I care about every single one of you. You are more than enough. You don’t need to please anyone else.

God Bless x

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Love from Shannon Diana xx 

If you would like to contact me for PR or any collaborations or even support if you are going through a bad time. Please follow my social media accounts and email me.

Instagram- @Shannondianaxx  

Twitter- @SDianaax 

Email- ShannonDianax@outlook.com

Facebook Page- Mental Health & My Life

Here are some Charites what could help.

National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC)-0808 801 0331

National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children- 0808 800 5000

The Lucy Faithfull Foundation– 01527 591922

The Survivors Trust-0808 801 0818

Action for children– 020 312 40600

Safe And Sound– 01332 362120

Safeline(Young people helpline)-0808 800 5007

Samaritans– 116123

Male Survivor-0808 800 5005

Rape Crisis England & Wales– 0808 802 9999

Here is some numbers to contact if you are expierencing a mental health crisis: 

Samaritians- For everyone! 24 hours, 7 days a week: 

Call this number – 116 123 

Email address is Jo@samaritans.org 

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – For Men!  5pm to midnight every day.

Call this number: 0800 58 58 58 

Webpage chat room if you don’t want to phone the link is: Webpage Chat

Papyrus- For people under 35! Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm. Weekends 2pm to 10pm. Bank Holidays 2pm to 5pm. 

Phone number: 0800 068 41 41 

Text Number: 07786 209697

Email: Pat@papyrus-uk.org

Childline- For children and young people under 19. 

Call 0800 1111 (Number won’t show up on your phone bill) 

The Silver Line- For older people 

Call: 0800 4 70 80 90 

In the US: Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-784-2433

In Austraila- Call Lifeline Austraila at 13 11 14

In other countries- Visit ISAP OR Suicide.org to find a helpline in your country. 

Other places you could go or ring in a crisis in UK: 

  1. Call your GP- Ask for an emergency appointment. 
  2. Call 111 – Out of hours- They will help you find the support and help you need. 
  3. Contact your mental health crisis team if you have one. 

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