It’s the memories that mean the most

Trigger Warning- Talking about grief. 

I’m currently listening to MIST. He’s a rapper. He’s originally from Birmingham and I kinda relate to him. Our moms aren’t alive. Where he uses music to help him. I use this blog and writing sorta helps me out! Also, a good old cry is good at times. 

I miss my mum every single day. She was my best friend. Today is one of them days where it hits you more than anything and every little thing sets you off.  I know it’s been 11 years nearly 12 since she died, but it still hurts. That she isn’t here to watch me grow up. Sometimes I feel jealous when I see other people with their moms. But that’s a normal feeling. As I’ll never get that back.  I miss her hugs. I miss when I was 7 and I use to jump on her bed and sing (Badly..) to WHAM– Epic Band, you should totally check them out! (Club Tropicana. Is my fave) My mum loved George Michael. I was told when she was having me she would listen to WHAM non-stop. But sorry mum, I’m still going to love RAP music. 

Fun fact- My mum wanted my name to be Tuesday! – Man, this is why I hate Tuesdays, I think! 

img_8733

Baby Me 

But you know what..

My mum was the most beautiful woman ever! I learnt a lot from her even if I did have a short amount of time with her. I know, it hurts at times but I will always know that she isn’t in pain anymore. I know its tough, at special dates. It was really hard for my 21st birthday as that’s known as a big birthday and she wasn’t there but it felt like she was when I opened my birthday present. 

26940961_461839480884916_1806438975_n

My beautiful mum! 

Yeah, it’s hard but it’s going to be ok, as I have my Nan and she is the best nan ever! If you know her, you’ll agree and she makes epic apple crumbles & gingerbread men! 

Yeah, at times I think would it be different if I acted this way or.. But, In reality, it wasn’t anyone’s fault. That’s just life and sometimes life is unfair. 

But I know no one can take those memories off me what I made with my mum and I’ll always remember that. 

You can’t see this mum, but I hope I make you proud and don’t ever think I didn’t love you. You was the best mum ever. 

My tip to anyone who’s lost anyone special. 

Cry. Shout. Scream and TALK don’t bottle your emotions up!

Talking doesn’t seem like the best thing to do when you lose someone you love. But, It’s bloody good to get your feelings out at times like that.

Shout. Shout into your pillow! 

Scream if you need too! I screamed at my teddy bear when I was told that my “mummy died” 

Cry! Crying doesn’t make you weak. 

TALK! Please talk. 

Think about those little things you did together. Keep those memories alive. Nobody can steal those memories. Think of those memories. It’s going to be okay. Trust me.  If you’re struggling with grief, message me, I can’t give you professional advice but I can try to support you as best I can.

Love Ya

Shannon Diana xx

img_5462

It is perfectly okay to admit when you’re not okay.

 Mental or physical illness isn’t going to get the last laugh. I am

I fight for my health and for other peoples health every single day in a way most people won’t understand, we aren’t lazy. We are warriors! 

If you don’t feel like talking to yet, I’ll always be here and I’ll help out any way I can. You aren’t alone. 

I know how it feels to be pushed aside. But listen, you are amazing and I’m proud of you so much. 

Just so you know, it’s okay not to be okay you know, even the happiest person in the universe has their bad days. You can get through this dark hole. I believe in you. 

You are loved. You are worth the fight. You are more than your illnesses, you can fight this I believe in you. You are flawless. You are fabulous. You aren’t alone. You are amazing and I’m proud of you all. 

You can beat these thoughts. I believe in you. I will always be there for you even if it’s on the internet or email or even in person one day.  You are loved. You are needed in this world because you are YOU. You are badass for battling mental illness daily. I care about every single one of you. You are more than enough. You don’t need to please anyone else.

Here are some numbers to contact if you are experiencing a mental health crisis: 

Samaritans For everyone! 24 hours, 7 days a week: 

Call this number – 116 123 

Email address is Jo@samaritans.org 

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – For Men!  5pm to midnight every day.

Call this number: 0800 58 58 58 

Webpage chat room if you don’t want to phone the link is: Webpage Chat

Papyrus- For people under 35! Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm. Weekends 2pm to 10pm. Bank Holidays 2pm to 5pm. 

Phone number: 0800 068 41 41 

Text Number: 07786 209697

Email: Pat@papyrus-uk.org

Childline- For children and young people under 19. 

Call 0800 1111 (Number won’t show up on your phone bill) 

The Silver Line- For older people 

Call: 0800 4 70 80 90 

In the US: Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-784-2433

In Austraila- Call Lifeline Austraila at 13 11 14

In other countries- Visit ISAP OR Suicide.org to find a helpline in your country. 

Other places you could go or ring in a crisis in UK: 

  1. Call your GP- Ask for an emergency appointment. 
  2. Call 111 – Out of hours- They will help you find the support and help you need. 
  3. Contact your mental health crisis team if you have one. 

If you would like to contact me for PR or any collaborations or even support if you are going through a bad time. Please follow my social media accounts and email me.

Instagram- @Shannondianaxx  

Twitter- @SDianaax 

Email- ShannonDianax@outlook.com

Facebook Page- Mental Health & My Life

 

6 thoughts on “It’s the memories that mean the most

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s