Hello, my lovely followers and readers of my blog!
I hope you are all okay and if you aren’t feeling ok. Just remember that’s it ok not to be ok and I hope you can get the right support you need and if you want to talk please remember that I’m here and the correct charities are here to support you!
Dear Person who groomed me when I was 17/18,
You don’t deserve to be named on my blog.
I doubt you’ll be reading this as you are living freely like nothing happened back in 2016 and have a perfectly happy life.
Where is my justice?
I’ve been left with mental health problems. I’ve been left with socializing issues. I’ve been left with trust issues. I’ve been left with so many issues and trauma. I can’t deal with friendships & relationships as I get scared that I’m going to get hurt.
You took my recovery away and made me go into a relapse.
I was so vulnerable.
I didn’t get listened too as I turned 18 and I wrote the simple word “LOL” to try change a subject what was distressing. I got told to shut up about it so it wouldn’t cause bother to others. But what about me? No one gave a fuck about me apart from my family. I was failed by so many people who had a right to safeguard me which they didn’t, now I am living the effects of their failures.
I’m not living like an average 21-year-old.
I am scared to go outside.
I haven’t been outside since Christmas day, because I am petrified.
You’ve done the damage to me.
I feel like I’m living in a nightmare. I have trust issues.
My teenage years got destroyed by you.
When I go near a male my leg starts to shake.
Did I look so vulnerable to you? Did you gain your gratification of destroying me mentally?
Mental illness isn’t going to get the last laugh. I am.
I fight for my health and for other people’s health every single day in a way most people won’t understand, we aren’t lazy. We are warriors!
If you don’t feel like talking to yet, I’ll always be here and I’ll help out any way I can. You aren’t alone.
I know how it feels to be pushed aside. But listen, you are amazing and I’m proud of you so much.
Just so you know, it’s okay not to be okay you know, even the happiest person in the universe has their bad days. You can get through this dark hole. I believe in you.
You are loved. You are worth the fight. You are more than your illnesses, you can fight this I believe in you. You are flawless. You are fabulous. You aren’t alone. You are amazing and I’m proud of you all.
You can beat these thoughts. I believe in you. I will always be there for you even if it’s on the internet or email or even in person one day. You are loved. You are needed in this world because you are YOU. You are badass for battling mental illness daily. I care about every single one of you. You are more than enough. You don’t need to please anyone else.
Here is some numbers to contact if you are experiencing a mental health crisis:
Samaritans- For everyone! 24 hours, 7 days a week:
Call this number – 116 123
Email address is Jo@samaritans.org
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – For Men! 5pm to midnight every day.
Call this number: 0800 58 58 58
Webpage chat room if you don’t want to phone the link is: Webpage Chat
Papyrus- For people under 35! Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm. Weekends 2pm to 10pm. Bank Holidays 2pm to 5pm.
Phone number: 0800 068 41 41
Text Number: 07786 209697
Childline- For children and young people under 19.
Call 0800 1111 (Number won’t show up on your phone bill)
The Silver Line- For older people
Call: 0800 4 70 80 90
In the US: Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-784-2433
In Austraila- Call Lifeline Austraila at 13 11 14
Other places you could go or ring in a crisis in UK:
- Call your GP- Ask for an emergency appointment.
- Call 111 – Out of hours- They will help you find the support and help you need.
- Contact your mental health crisis team if you have one.
If you would like to contact me for PR or any collaborations or even support if you are going through a bad time. Please follow my social media accounts and email me.
Facebook Page- Mental Health & My Life