Hello, my lovely followers and readers of my blog!
Well. If you would be telling me back 4/5 years ago while I was in the darkest time of my life and start of my recovery that I was going to be an award-winning blogger. I probably wouldn’t believe you at all and would tell you to clear off in a polite manner.
I was fighting mental illness undiagnosed since I was growing up. I got told I wasn’t allowed any medication as I was under 18 so they just made me go to camhs and I got sent back and forth with and I’m not being ungrateful at all but they just said every single appointment that it was a teenager phrase that I’d grow out off and didn’t offer me any support as it was just “hormones” then I finally got listened to by my now GP. My doctors have put it on the record that my GP is the only GP who is allowed to see me when it’s mental health-related appointments as I have been messed about so much in the past.
Since my mum sadly passed away, I was thinking I was going crazy inside my brain and people just blamed it on my hormones as I was a teenager and said it was a phrase I needed to get out of. Which made me feel so more alone that I wasn’t being taken seriously as I was just a 12 year old and they just blamed it on growing up.
This isn’t a hateful rant to the NHS as they are doing an amazing job with low funding but I just wish I had some support when I kept going back with the same symptoms and maybe I would be better? But who knows eh?
I was too scared to talk as I knew that it would be blamed on hormones and that I’d get pushed aside as I usually was. I wish I kept going back and fighting for a second opinion but at that time I just didn’t have the energy or confidence to get my opinion across and shout that I needed help. I used to be so ashamed of being ill. I used to blame and punish myself for feeling low and crying till 2am on school nights as I didn’t want to go to school as I felt unsafe and I just didn’t want to be alive anymore.
You wouldn’t have been stuck in a house for 365 days at seventeen years old just because of hormones, would you? I know I’m no doctor, but I knew something was wrong.
Now, I’m 21.
I may have diagnoses throwing forwards and backwards but you know what? That doesn’t matter. I feel like a rock has been lifted. I’m finally being listened too and being taken seriously. I’m taking medication that is slowly working with my brain.
If you can’t take my bad days you don’t deserve my awesome days.
Now, it’s my time to make sure mental illness knows that I am the boss and I’ve got my voice back and it’s not going anywhere even when I’m having bad days!
I give myself this little pep talk when I’m battling the really tough days:
I’ve had relapses in my journey.
I’ve had bad times and good times.
I’ve had tears and smiles.
I’ve had horrible thoughts and happy thoughts.
I’m not a victim of mental illness. I battle it, yeah, but it isn’t me.
I define me. No illnesses will define me.
Till next time!
With lots of love!
Shannon Diana xx
Mental illness isn’t going to get the last laugh. I am.
I fight for my health and for other people’s health every single day in a way most people won’t understand, we aren’t lazy. We are warriors!
If you don’t feel like talking to yet, I’ll always be here and I’ll help out any way I can. You aren’t alone.
I know how it feels to be pushed aside. But listen, you are amazing and I’m proud of you so much.
Just so you know, it’s okay not to be okay you know, even the happiest person in the universe has their bad days. You can get through this dark hole. I believe in you.
You are loved. You are worth the fight. You are more than your illnesses, you can fight this I believe in you. You are flawless. You are fabulous. You aren’t alone. You are amazing and I’m proud of you all.
You can beat these thoughts. I believe in you. I will always be there for you even if it’s on the internet or email or even in person one day. You are loved. You are needed in this world because you are YOU. You are badass for battling mental illness daily. I care about every single one of you. You are more than enough. You don’t need to please anyone else.
Here is some numbers to contact if you are experiencing a mental health crisis:
Samaritans- For everyone! 24 hours, 7 days a week:
Call this number – 116 123
Email address is Jo@samaritans.org
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – For Men! 5pm to midnight every day.
Call this number: 0800 58 58 58
Webpage chat room if you don’t want to phone the link is: Webpage Chat
Papyrus- For people under 35! Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm. Weekends 2pm to 10pm. Bank Holidays 2pm to 5pm.
Phone number: 0800 068 41 41
Text Number: 07786 209697
Childline- For children and young people under 19.
Call 0800 1111 (Number won’t show up on your phone bill)
The Silver Line- For older people
Call: 0800 4 70 80 90
In the US: Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-784-2433
In Austraila- Call Lifeline Austraila at 13 11 14
Other places you could go or ring in a crisis in UK:
- Call your GP- Ask for an emergency appointment.
- Call 111 – Out of hours- They will help you find the support and help you need.
- Contact your mental health crisis team if you have one.
If you would like to contact me for PR or any collaborations or even support if you are going through a bad time. Please follow my social media accounts and email me.
Facebook Page- Mental Health & My Life