Hello, my lovely followers and readers of my blog! I hope you haven’t missed me that much! 😉😘
I hope you are all okay and if you aren’t feeling ok. Just remember that’s it ok not to be ok and I hope you can get the right support you need and if you want to talk please remember that I’m here and the correct charities are here to support you!
Today post is about how words can hurt, gyms and anxieties.
Because every few couples of months due to maina I reckon?? I would say I’m gonna go and get me a gym membership and buy a shit ton of gym clothes and post positive quotes on Instagram because I wanted to be thin and would do stupid diets, skip meals and step on the scales 5 times a day.
As you know sadly my mum passed away due to cancer in 2009. She battled with her weight when she was 16-23! She had severe Anorexia. I’ve battled with my weight since I started secondary school. I was bullied about my weight as I was chubby.
I hated my appearance with a passion. I still struggle with my appearance on bad days especially when I am having a depressive episode. I still repress those memories when I tried to drink soap to lose weight. I was so obsessive over my weight. I wouldn’t wear bright clothes. I still don’t wear them when I’m having a shit day. I wanted to be thin so badly. I wanted to be loved because I was already told that if you’re a bigger girl you can’t be loved.. (THAT IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT BTW!!)
I use to count calories like no tomorrow. I must have spent £30.00 of my pocket money to buy smoothie recipes and quitting sugar books. I had those moments of thinking I need to buy a shit ton of healthy food so I can be thin.
Looking back now.. It’s so sad. As I suffered so badly due to cruel words and they hurt so badly. To this today they haunt me.
Last year I was 20 years old, I brought gym memberships after gym memberships and went constantly for how many weeks and then all of the sudden I stopped. Maybe that was down to maina and my problem with my weight. I don’t know if it was. I won’t ever know because my Grandma has my debit card and helps me with my money and when I’m having a manic episode. I don’t spend recklessly. I write blog posts which are so creative instead of self-destructive activities.
I just want to say again that words can hurt. Simple jokes about a personal weight can hurt. Shaming and bullying someone who is trying their hardest with their self-love journey isn’t helpful. It is very dangerous and can cause so many problems in the future.
Till next time!
With lots of love!
Shannon Diana xx
Mental illness isn’t going to get the last laugh. I am.
I fight for my health and for other people’s health every single day in a way most people won’t understand, we aren’t lazy. We are warriors!
If you don’t feel like talking to yet, I’ll always be here and I’ll help out any way I can. You aren’t alone.
I know how it feels to be pushed aside. But listen, you are amazing and I’m proud of you so much.
Just so you know, it’s okay not to be okay you know, even the happiest person in the universe has their bad days. You can get through this dark hole. I believe in you.
You are loved. You are worth the fight. You are more than your illnesses, you can fight this I believe in you. You are flawless. You are fabulous. You aren’t alone. You are amazing and I’m proud of you all.
You can beat these thoughts. I believe in you. I will always be there for you even if it’s on the internet or email or even in person one day. You are loved. You are needed in this world because you are YOU. You are badass for battling mental illness daily. I care about every single one of you. You are more than enough. You don’t need to please anyone else.
Here is some numbers to contact if you are experiencing a mental health crisis:
Samaritans- For everyone! 24 hours, 7 days a week:
Call this number – 116 123
Email address is Jo@samaritans.org
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – For Men! 5pm to midnight every day.
Call this number: 0800 58 58 58
Webpage chat room if you don’t want to phone the link is: Webpage Chat
Papyrus- For people under 35! Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm. Weekends 2pm to 10pm. Bank Holidays 2pm to 5pm.
Phone number: 0800 068 41 41
Text Number: 07786 209697
Childline- For children and young people under 19.
Call 0800 1111 (Number won’t show up on your phone bill)
The Silver Line- For older people
Call: 0800 4 70 80 90
In the US: Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-784-2433
In Austraila- Call Lifeline Austraila at 13 11 14
Other places you could go or ring in a crisis in UK:
- Call your GP- Ask for an emergency appointment.
- Call 111 – Out of hours- They will help you find the support and help you need.
- Contact your mental health crisis team if you have one.
If you would like to contact me for PR or any collaborations or even support if you are going through a bad time. Please follow my social media accounts and email me.
Facebook Page- Mental Health & My Life