Hello, my lovely followers and readers of my blog! I hope you haven’t missed me that much!
I hope you are all okay and if you aren’t feeling ok. Just remember that’s it ok not to be ok and I hope you can get the right support you need and if you want to talk please remember that I’m here and the correct charities are here to support you!
If you haven’t seen my recent blog post please check that out.
Hello my loves, Hi, how are ya? No, how are you really?!
Today post is just a little update. I just wanted to write tonight. How’s your week been?! My week has been high and low at the same.
As you all know my hair was black\brown last week, well now it’s red. It was an impulsive decision. I’ll tell you the whole back story of it. Well I was in bed last week, I couldn’t sleep. I felt low. I remembered all the bad things I’ve been through, the grooming and my mum’s death, my Nan’s battle with sepsis, dads heart attack then his heart bypass and all that, I had that hair for all through that. The binge drinking and taking drugs, I had black hair. The break ups, I had black hair.
I wanted to start my life again after having my bipolar diagnosis. I felt like I had the key to a new recovery and life. But, I had black hair. It was all my trauma. I still have that trauma but I’m fighting that every day, that’s why I dyed my hair on Wednesday a beautiful RED.
I ended friendships what were toxic and what kept me in my negative mindset. It hurt at first as I had memories.. but bad memories such as drinking or talking about sex in a stupid manner.
I told all my friends and family to say goodbye to that Shan, The 2016,2017,2018 person who was negative. It was a funeral for that person. Because I’ve grown and I am growing into the person I want to be.
Because now it’s 2019, I want to be positive and have positive energy toward me. I hate the toxic energy, it brought so much bad energy towards me and made me relapse. It nearly killed me 3 times? I just want a fresh start. I want my recovery to be positive and not negative.
Yes, I have bipolar. But it doesn’t breathe for me. It doesn’t make me wee. Yes, bipolar affects me daily, the physical symptoms are awful. But I want to find positive things out of bipolar. Like my creativity and observing skills are brilliant.
That’s what I’ve not been on the blog front for a bit as I just needed a break from everything, I wanted to sort my life. I want to start my treatment plan. My blog is my hobby, I’m not going to sit here and write, I’d love to blog every day. Because mentally and physically I can’t. I can’t do schedules as my brain completely messes up. The stress then the anxiety and then the intrusive thoughts.
But I welcome you to the 2019 Shannon… I won’t promise that I will be positive every single day. Because I mentally can’t, when I’m having a low day. But I want to count my blessing and positives out of a shitty situation. Bipolar isn’t me. Yes I have bipolar. But I’m controlling my life, bipolar isn’t.
If you do battle a mental illness you are a warrior, not a loser. Because nothing is harder than fighting with your own brain. Trust me, I know what it feels like to be discriminated against just because I am ill.
Till next time!
With lots of love!
Shannon Diana xx
Mental illness isn’t going to get the last laugh. I am.
I fight for my health and for other people’s health every single day in a way most people won’t understand, we aren’t lazy. We are warriors!
If you don’t feel like talking to yet, I’ll always be here and I’ll help out any way I can. You aren’t alone.
I know how it feels to be pushed aside. But listen, you are amazing and I’m proud of you so much.
Just so you know, it’s okay not to be okay you know, even the happiest person in the universe has their bad days. You can get through this dark hole. I believe in you.
You are loved. You are worth the fight. You are more than your illnesses, you can fight this I believe in you. You are flawless. You are fabulous. You aren’t alone. You are amazing and I’m proud of you all.
You can beat these thoughts. I believe in you. I will always be there for you even if it’s on the internet or email or even in person one day. You are loved. You are needed in this world because you are YOU. You are badass for battling mental illness daily. I care about every single one of you. You are more than enough. You don’t need to please anyone else.
Here is some numbers to contact if you are experiencing a mental health crisis:
Samaritans- For everyone! 24 hours, 7 days a week:
Call this number – 116 123
Email address is Jo@samaritans.org
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – For Men! 5pm to midnight every day.
Call this number: 0800 58 58 58
Webpage chat room if you don’t want to phone the link is: Webpage Chat
Papyrus- For people under 35! Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm. Weekends 2pm to 10pm. Bank Holidays 2pm to 5pm.
Phone number: 0800 068 41 41
Text Number: 07786 209697
Childline- For children and young people under 19.
Call 0800 1111 (Number won’t show up on your phone bill)
The Silver Line- For older people
Call: 0800 4 70 80 90
In Austraila- Call Lifeline Austraila at 13 11 14
Other places you could go or ring in a crisis in UK:
- Call your GP- Ask for an emergency appointment.
- Call 111 – Out of hours- They will help you find the support and help you need.
- Contact your mental health crisis team if you have one.
If you would like to contact me for PR or any collaborations or even support if you are going through a bad time. Please follow my social media accounts and email me.
Fitness/Gaming Instagram– @FitGurlShan
Facebook Page- Mental Health & My Life