Hello, my lovely followers and readers of my blog! I hope you haven’t missed me that much!
I hope you are all okay and if you aren’t feeling ok. Just remember that’s it ok not to be ok and I hope you can get the right support you need and if you want to talk please remember that I’m here and the correct charities are here to support you!
If you haven’t seen my recent blog post please check that out.
Hello my loves, Hi, how are ya? No, how are you really?!
I wanted to write this post for AGES but I haven’t had the energy to write anything. Big thanks to my depression for that one, what a babe eh?
Anyway, today post is about two goals I want to achieve this year.
I’ve only written 2 as with my illness, It’s very hard to make plans as I have no idea what type of mood I will be in as living with bipolar is like a rollercoaster inside your brain. The rollercoaster has either been overactive(Manic) or has broken down(Depressive episodes) but living with it mixed is one day I can be manic than the next day I can be depressed. It’s very overwhelming and exhausting for me and my friends or family.
I WOULD NOT WISH THIS ON MY WORST ENEMY.
As you all know I am interested in fitness but without the obsession, as that made me seriously unwell and nearly led to me not being alive anymore.
- No FAD diets
- No counting calories
- No punishing myself when I slip up
- No scales
- No BMI (I HATE THAT WORD)
- No comparing myself to others
- Letting myself rest when I need too
- Loving myself
- Accepting my imperfections
- Accepting help
- Taking my correct medication and not missing it because my head tells me too
- Remembering self-care
I want to get back to that girl who was into going to the gym without having the constant feeling of unhappiness and feeling like it was the dreaded chore. I want to feel happy mentally while also feeling happy physical. I’m not perfect. Am I bothered about that? Nah pal. I’m Shan. You either love me or not. I’m not changing for no one.
So, that’s one of my goals.
My other goal is that I use to be such a car enthusiast. I loved car shows. I loved driving. I loved my little blue car. I use to call him Charlie. As you know the past 2 years I’ve been mentally unwell and I couldn’t drive as I was ill and it was very dangerous for me being on the road.
I was very ashamed of myself with this illness being told I couldn’t drive because I was Ill and I’ve always been asked about Charlie and it gets me down every time as I can’t drive him until I’m 100%.
I’m starting to get better slowly with the right medication. I still have bad days and good days. As it, been 2 years, I have to renew everything.
I reapplied for my driving license. I need to ring them and tell them about my Bipolar, I also need the permission of my doctors and psychiatrist first.
I need to retake my theory test and my practical. I am saving each month for a new car as I just need a fresh start. I loved Charlie. But that car holds some bad memories with my ex-boyfriends. I am saving for everything. Money doesn’t go on trees so I will be saving a lot for both of these goals.
I want to document this journey as It’s about my life so why not blog about it?! I will be honest with you all, I’ve fallen in and out of love with blogging past couple of weeks due to my illness and the paranoia.
I will update you soon!
If you do battle a mental illness you are a warrior, not a loser. Because nothing is harder than fighting with your own brain. Trust me, I know what it feels like to be discriminated against just because I am ill.
Till next time!
With lots of love!
Shannon Diana xx
Mental illness isn’t going to get the last laugh. I am.
I fight for my health and for other people’s health every single day in a way most people won’t understand, we aren’t lazy. We are warriors!
If you don’t feel like talking to yet, I’ll always be here and I’ll help out any way I can. You aren’t alone.
I know how it feels to be pushed aside. But listen, you are amazing and I’m proud of you so much.
Just so you know, it’s okay not to be okay you know, even the happiest person in the universe has their bad days. You can get through this dark hole. I believe in you.
You are loved. You are worth the fight. You are more than your illnesses, you can fight this I believe in you. You are flawless. You are fabulous. You aren’t alone. You are amazing and I’m proud of you all.
You can beat these thoughts. I believe in you. I will always be there for you even if it’s on the internet or email or even in person one day. You are loved. You are needed in this world because you are YOU. You are badass for battling mental illness daily. I care about every single one of you. You are more than enough. You don’t need to please anyone else.
Here is some numbers to contact if you are experiencing a mental health crisis:
Samaritans- For everyone! 24 hours, 7 days a week:
Call this number – 116 123
Email address is Jo@samaritans.org
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – For Men! 5pm to midnight every day.
Call this number: 0800 58 58 58
Webpage chat room if you don’t want to phone the link is: Webpage Chat
Papyrus- For people under 35! Monday to Friday 10am to 10pm. Weekends 2pm to 10pm. Bank Holidays 2pm to 5pm.
Phone number: 0800 068 41 41
Text Number: 07786 209697
Childline- For children and young people under 19.
Call 0800 1111 (Number won’t show up on your phone bill)
The Silver Line- For older people
Call: 0800 4 70 80 90
In Austraila- Call Lifeline Austraila at 13 11 14
Other places you could go or ring in a crisis in UK:
- Call your GP- Ask for an emergency appointment.
- Call 111 – Out of hours- They will help you find the support and help you need.
- Contact your mental health crisis team if you have one.
If you would like to contact me for PR or any collaborations or even support if you are going through a bad time. Please follow my social media accounts and email me.
Fitness/Gaming Instagram– @FitGurlShan
Facebook Page- Mental Health & My Life